About Me and This Blog.

Yeah, that's me. 

Hi, I'm Sarah. I've been alive for around 18 years now, and I want to own my own bakery someday. I'm very excited about this, and generally excited by anything else that falls into the “cute”, “yummy”, or “girly” categories.

At my 8th Grade Promotion.

I grew up as a middle child in a family of five in a rural town in the Midwest. I know that's not very original, but it's the best I've got. If you want the long version of my childhood, click here. If you want the condensed version of my childhood, here it is: A house, two parents, two siblings, and lots and lots of Barbies. And food, of course.


My voice is really loud, and sometimes people think I’m yelling when I’m just talking. This stems from the Mother, who insists it's genetic (quite possibly a mutation, but the chemists are still working on it). I'm also a Sagittarius. I think that means I'm always looking for something new. It also means I have a Christmas-themed birthday party every year, which is cool with me because I love Christmas. I've been told I have an obnoxious yet contagious laugh and I'm still trying to figure out exactly what that means. I became gigantically tall and over-talkative at some point in my life, but no one really seems to mind. Except librarians and people who disagree with me, as I tend to out-loud the latter. I'm obsessed with the winter season, pink things and grocery shopping. Baking is what I’m best at, and my friends and family take advantage of that.

Now on to the serious stuff.

My grandpa's last birth-
day party.

I believe that happiness is always within a person. But a series of unfortunate events can cloud the happiness so that it makes it hard to find, impossible even. No one can take your happiness away, but it can pushed away enough that's it's a challenge to chase after.

I have been faced with such a series of unfortunate events. There's more talk on that within this blog, that much I can assure you, but I don't really want to get into it on this page. The short story is, I suffer from depression and binge eating disorder. My depression stems from several deaths and issues within my immediate family, both of which has left me with abandonment and trust issues.

My sister and I. She's a dummy.
It's a term of endearment. 

This all, unfortunately, led me to food. I would be so sad, crying my eyes out and scarfing down an entire bag of chips or package of cookies. Or both. Food was comforting to me, making me feel happy or less stressed or just...better. Even when I was feeling okay, I'd still take some goodies down to my bedroom and  eat and eat until I was so full my stomach hurt for days. I felt guilty about what I'd just done and when my parents questioned my sister and I about where certain food had gone, it made it even worse. My mindset was that I couldn't possibly tell them. They'd think I was a freak or try to force to go to a shrink.

Chair-head monster!
RAWRRRR!

Luckily, during most of high school I was required to take  P.E. classes. I hated them so much, but I realize now they're what saved me. But after my junior year, when I could drop out of them, I started to put on weight, lots of it. And fast. I was certainly never a size two before (I'm big-boned and that's okay) but it was getting to the point of being really unhealthy.

Finally, in April of 2012, I told my parents I had a problem. Suddenly this huge weight was lifted off my shoulders and I could breathe again. They wanted to support me, like they always have, and wanted me to get help. Several doctor's appointments later, I found out that I had unbalanced hormones and was insulin resistant, both of which can lead to Type 2 Diabetes.

The usual amount of excite-
ment I show.

I was faced with a decision: change my lifestyle of change it fast. It's a struggle to give up something that was a habit for so long, but I know it's for the best. I still get to eat the things I want, but in moderation and combined with foods that are good for me. My family is behind me 100%, as are my friends, which makes the whole thing easier.

Depression and eating disorders aren't just problems that go away. It's not a matter of taking a pill and getting over it, like so many people want to believe. Instead, I have to work every day to make better decisions and lead a healthier lifestyle. It's a daily struggle, but one I have to work through.

That's why I created this blog. I needed a place to talk about my issues with binging and depression and all of the other parts of life. And, most importantly, I wanted other people to know they're not alone.

Love,
Sarah